Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Open Letter To J.Crew

Dearest Friends at J.Crew:

I frequently visit your site to admire the lovely, classic clothing. The fabrics, patterns, and styles are all beautiful and would be at home in my closet. You frequently flaunt feminine ruffles and roses--my favorite! Apparently my self control is more reliable than I credit myself for because my closet has yet to develop into a J.Crew storefront. Upon each visit, I indulge my eyes with chic stimuli and try to control the drool response that is instinctive now.

All of this is tolerable until you throw in the final punch. Why, oh why do you torment me with shoes, too? Sexy pumps, chic flats, strappy sandles, bright attention getters, neutral everyday wears, short heels, tall heels, loafers, flip flops, you've dangled them all in front of my wide weary eyes. Like a deer in headlights I am unsure of my next move.

For instance, today I ventured to your website only to be teased with exhibit a. Patent, menswear inspired, open toe, moderate heel, neutral + classic colors and a strap! The ultimate combination with the cherry on top being fab photography. What are you trying to achieve here? Do you wish me bankrupt or worse--hoping to induce some sort of shoe induced insanity? My pocketbook, closet and marriage just does not have the capacity for the cuteness your company continuously brings forth. Just as I have managed to overcome my lust for one pair, another comes right behind it.

This is my formal plea to request a significant price drop or some sort of "blogger's discount" so that I may continue my love affair with your shoes without detriment to my existence. My readers can attest to my admiration of your frocks and footwear and I am sure they would be relieved to no longer be bomboarded with love letters to your company. Thank you for your consideration.

Stylishly Sincere,
{ Lindsey }

exhibit a